As a writer, especially freelancing occasionally, I get many messages from people offering me “once in a lifetime” opportunities. Some may be legit, but they are only sometimes up my alley. However, there are a few that, given their unfortunate popularity, warrant a warning.

Imagine this: you’re sipping your Timmies while on your way to work and daydreaming about your financial future. Suddenly, you get a message from your cousin, Doug, who’s convinced he’s discovered the ultimate “life-changing opportunity” just for you. It’s a golden ticket to financial prosperity, a one-way ticket to not shovelling our cars out of the driveway! What is this magical offer, you ask? The dazzling world of selling life insurance and investments (or candles, or kitchen wares, or… let’s just face it, there are more out there like this than I can list) like he now is, and he’s just killing it… or will be soon, but he needs your help because it’d be great if you both were doing it, right?

Let’s hit pause for a second here. Doug has not been into any of this before, which seems odd. In fact, you don’t remember Doug ever passing so much as a business course before… In fact, didn’t he have to copy your homework in high school? Sure, he could have learned a new skill, but something isn’t sitting right.

And you’d be right because Doug got himself pulled into something as cultish as a cult can get.

Now, let’s be as polite as possible here. We all want to make some maple-flavoured moolah, sure, but unfortunately, there are too many out there after that same thing looking to make it off of you. Here’s why these MLMs are cults and why you should avoid them:

1. The “Double-Double” Culture:

In a cult, they follow their leader’s teachings with unwavering faith. In MLMs, they have their version of it – called “the pitch,” delivered with all the charm of a friendly Tim Hortons server. Prepare for an avalanche of enthusiastic, oddly vague claims about “financial freedom” and “being your own financial advisor.” It’s like deciphering your kid’s slang – you’ll nod along, but deep down, you’re not quite sure what’s happening.

2. Recruitment Tactics:

Have you ever heard of “friendly persuasion”? Well, that’s just another way to say “love bombing,” a classic cult technique where newbies are showered with love and attention. Members of MLMs are pros at it. You’ll be invited to parties, webinars, and Zoom calls where you’ll be overwhelmed with talk of “residual income” and “building your financial future.” It’s like being serenaded by a siren, but instead of drowning at sea, you’ll find your bank account slowly sinking. It’s worth noting that MLMs have also faced legal scrutiny in the United States, with the FTC cracking down on them for similar reasons.

3. The Pyramid Scheme, Canadian Style:

Imagine a pyramid scheme as a game of Jenga, where each block represents a recruit. The higher you climb, the more unstable the tower becomes. At some point, it will collapse, and those at the top will have made their fortune while the rest are left holding the broken pieces. Sound familiar? MLMs often operate this way, with a tiny elite profiting at the expense of the masses below. Let’s not forget that MLMs have been deemed illegal in the United States for similar recruitment practices, as investigated and enforced by the FTC.

4. The Ice Rink of Excommunication:

In a cult, dissent is discouraged and can result in exile. MLMs follow suit, shunning anyone who questions their methods or, heaven forbid, decides to quit. When you say, “I’m out,” you might as well be handing in your cult robe and sipping on some herbal tea because you’re persona non grata.

5. The Illusion of Success, Eh:

Cult leaders often flaunt their “divine” lifestyle to lure followers. MLM leaders are no different. They post photos of their luxury cars, tropical vacations, and stacks of cash, conveniently forgetting to mention that these goodies were financed by their recruits’ hard-earned money. It’s like watching the Northern Lights on TV – it’s not real.

So, dear fellow writers, as tempting as the MLM siren song may be, resist the urge to dive headfirst into the cult of Multi-Level Marketing. Instead, focus on your true craft, sharpen your writing skills, and build a sustainable career that doesn’t require recruiting your friends and family into a financial labyrinth.

Remember, your financial success should result from sound decisions, not a byproduct of a recruitment frenzy. Stick to your roots, stay warm, and build your own financial igloo, one wise investment at a time.

Happy investing, my friends! 🇨🇦💰❄️